May 29th

I feel like I'm back in the swing of things. Finally. After going through some weird sort of lull. I've been reading on a regular basis, and I've been writing on a regular basis.

The only issue is that my "writing on a regular basis" is still rather slow. Well, at least slower than what I'd like it to be. That's not to say that perhaps a page a day isn't progress (heck, I have about 50ish more pages to go and then I'll be done), but it's slower than what I'd like.

I'm really excited to finally be done with this novel. That's not to say I don't enjoy it one bit. It's just that I'm ready now to move on. I mean, I know that I said about a month ago I wasn't ready and I wanted it to last forever - and that is technically true - but what I really meant to say was that I just need a break. Of course I want to come back. I created one of the most bad-ass characters I've ever constructed before. To just leave that character behind would be ... well, it's inhumane!

I'm not really sure what story I'll go on to next. I'm thinking about getting back to the story I started earlier and then stopped because I couldn't work it out right. I'll have to think hard about the tweaks to get it right. That was my problem. I was much more invested in my Airilie story than I was in that one. I didn't really think all that much about tweaking it.

Somewhere in there I'm going to do some revision to my Airilie story as well. About a month ago I realized that one part didn't really pan out how it was envisioned, so it has to be changed. Trust me, this revision will make a lot more sense than what I have written now.

Speaking about revisions: I definitely need someone to read through it. I had someone, but she definitely hasn't really done anything. I hope she can start working on it soon.

Well. I think I am off to read and then tomorrow it will definitely be a writing day. I'm really excited. I'm super close to the apex of the rising action. Yay.

I Know, I Know ...

I haven't posted in a very long time. Over two weeks. Don't blame me. I had my break, and that was quite a bit of fun. And then I recently returned to my school and I just have been relaxing a bit and playing some video games.

That doesn't really help the writing front, does it? I took a small break from writing, but I plan on getting back into it tomorrow. I tweeted the other day that I can't really write unless I'm inspired to write. I mean, sure, I could attempt to write something when I don't exactly feel like writing, but it would come out so god awful that it's like, "why did I even bother?" So, I just don't write. I read that when most authors give advice, the main thing they say is to write everyday. You can't tell me that they literally don't go ONE day without putting pen to paper. Besides, quite a few authors I have read actually have taken "days off." It's not like I'm not constantly tortured by my characters to write some more. I'm constantly formulating ideas, or they are coming to me, or what have you. I just don't scribe them down.

While I'm thinking about it -- and this is a huge tangent, might I add,(but it's relevant because I mentioned not writing something down) -- every author, I think, has this horror story of the "story that got away." It truly does suck to think of this kick-ass story, idea, character, event, blah blah blah and then think to yourself, "Oh, I'll just remember it and write it down later." And then later comes, or it's nighttime, or you wake up in the morning because you thought about it at night and you didn't want to be bothered by getting up and writing it down, and you simply CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. And what sucks even more is having the same feeling of the thing being awesome, but you don't know what it is. So then you get upset, maybe even depressed, and you try to remember it, you strain real hard, but finally you give up.

... I just spent like 20 minutes doing something else and now I lost my place and don't remember what I was talking about.

Well, I am going to go read now until I fall asleep. I feel a headache coming on, and it's usually indicative of, well, a headache.

Check out "Grave Mercy" by R. L. LaFevers. It's pretty decent so far. I'm about 120 pages in.

By ya'll.

FREE

I am officially done with classes/exams for the Winter semester. It makes me feel ... I don't know, rather amazing. I learned a lot this semester, but I feel like it just dragged on after awhile. I'm itching to finally get out there and be free for a bit. Yes, I do still have summer classes, but they shouldn't take up all my time. It's only 6 credits.

Watch that be the very last thing I ever say, and then fail everything.

I'm happy to get back into writing. I know I said that I was going to start the other novel whose prologue I posted the other day, but the more I think about it and try to develop it, the more I realize I have hit a snag in my thought process. I'd be more than happy to actually tell you all what it is, but then again, what if it gets published? That would ruin the fun for all of you guys, wouldn't it? So now I need to just find a friend or someone that actually wants to read my work and explain to them my little conundrum. How do I solve a problem like Maria?

That was a "Sound of Music" reference, for your information.

I think tonight I'm going to watch "West Side Story." I bought it about a week ago, but I just never got around to actually watching it. Well, I did watch it, but I wasn't technically "watching" it.

... That probably makes no sense to you guys, but whatever.

I guess when I say that I'm "done," I don't actually mean that I'm done. I have to tweak a small thing or two on my final for one of my classes that I have to email to the professor. I think he actually wants me to give it to him in person, but I'm not sure I really want to get up and out of the confines of my apartment to give him my stuff. Besides, it wastes paper for something he's just going to end up throwing away anyway, right?! Right.

Okay, well I think I am going out to have an early dinner, because I didn't have anything for lunch at all today minus like 10 triscuit crackers, and those never last me long. Plus I had two cups of coffee, and coffee does not sit well in my stomach without something to eat in there as well. I should also take out the trash as well. I dislike taking it out. But, my apartment must look somewhat presentable by the time I leave tomorrow.

So. Au revoir and all that good stuff.

Prologue For a New Story

The following is a prologue for a story that I have had in my head now for like a month. I had some free time last night, so I just decided to write it while I could. This is going to be my next main story to tackle after I finish the "Airilie" novel, forgoing the space opera novel I posted beforehand. I'll probably get back around to it, but I feel like I've developed this story more, and thus, I am more inclined to write it. Note: any named or places or sentences or words and practically anything written beyond this point is subject to change. Also, keep in mind that this is a rough draft. Like, I didn't even go through it to edit it for horrible grammar or spelling. Let me know what you think and if I should continue it! What do you like, dislike? I know it's only like a page, but any form of criticism helps. More importantly, enjoy!!!

Prologue

                Lord Avery brought the glass to his lips and tipped the wine into his mouth. He normally did not drink, but he couldn’t help but feel that something bad was going to happen, and alcohol was the only thing he could think of to calm himself. Perhaps it was intuition or a calling from the divine, but something tore at his heart in previously unknown ways. Whenever he got a good look at the king, he felt something rip inside, but he did not know what. The king would smile at him, and Lord Avery would force one back.

                He kept to the cloisters in the castle, praying at the altar as much as he could. His white robe, made of thick material that kept him well insulated to the cold, barren months of the current winter, also made use as a kneepad. For as much as he knelt, he was surprised that his knees were not more tore up. He was older now, not the young pupil of god that King Calwy found him as. His body could only take so much.

                There was a slam in the distance behind him and the cacophony of hurried steps up a staircase, which cause Lord Avery to groan. His concentration had been broken. “I thought I said to not bother me. . . .” he mumbled to himself. One of the other added perks of being older – and perhaps also being the highest adviser in the kingdom – was that he was able to speak his mind about absolutely anything. This caused his thoughts to become words more often than not.

                Another slam, and then this time the heavy click of boats on the pure marble floors.

                “Your Grace,” said the owner of the boots, a deep voice that seemed abnormally rushed. “Your Grace, there has been an accident.”

                Lord Avery’s heart skipped a beat. “I knew there was something,” he mumbled to himself. He pushed himself off the floor and turned to view the man, a guard that was much taller than he, which was not all that hard to be. A visor in his helmet blocked most of his physical features, but the guard was clearly on edge by the way he was standing. “What is it, my boy? Speak! Out with whatever devils there may be!”

                The guard pulled off his helmet, revealing his ruffled short blonde hair, dirtied by grime and sweat. He bowed, eyes closed: shame. “The King . . . he lies in his chamber, dead.”

                “No.” That was all the old Lord could muster.

                “I . . . I could not bear to lie to you.” The guard swallowed hard.

                “What was the cause?” inquired Lord Avery.

                “By his bedside was a man bearing the insignia of the Frenlin’s. In his hand was a dagger.”

                There was nothing more to be said. So it was murder.

                “Where is this man now? In custody, I presume?”

                The guard nodded. “Yes. He was brought down to the dungeons. He hasn’t said a word since being brought there. Will you join them shortly for the torture?”

                “You know I don’t approve of such methods,” said Lord Avery matter-of-factly. “He will come to terms with himself and explain all in due course. The people will want revenge for the loss of their king, however. And of course a quick succession of power. Is Prince Ephraim awake? He must be approved by the Holy One tonight.” That means through me, he added in thought.

                “Captain Merda was sent to him. He should be awake by now and they will be on their way.”

                “Then I must prepare for the ceremony. Go. Thank you for your information.” He shooed the man away and then, when all was quiet except the airy whispers of the wind, he knelt one more in front of the altar.

“Holy One, my god Azramite, give me strength,” he whispered.

A soft twist of air answered him back.

Songs of the Month - April 2012

It's the time of the year again! I'm rather busy, so this one isn't going to be as detailed oriented as I'd have liked it to be, but I guess my like 3 followers will have to deal with it. Sorry, dudes.

1. "Elle Me Dit" - Mika. OMG. This song is my new addiction. At first I was like, "okay, this is a decent song." And now I find myself in my car just replaying it over and over. I used to speak a decent amount of French, so I can kinda tell what he's singing about and can somewhat sing along, but Mika does too much voice inflection stuff that it's hard to hear what he's saying. Anyway, this is just a fun little ditty.

2. "Lights Out" - Natalia Kills. This is another party song. It's fun to listen to and just kinda sing along to. I like Natalia Kills. This is the direction she needs to head in.

3. "212" - Azealia Banks. This is just a super dirty song. Like ... you have no idea. Once again, not really an inspirational song, but jut something to listen to. I don't think I have an inspiration songs this month, only because I just haven't done much writing.

4. "Glad You Came" - The Wanted. Okay, so I used to hate this song. Like, you have no idea how much I just wanted this song to die a horrible death. But then I started to listen to it more, and now I can't help my admit that I rather like it. Good play, The Wanted. Good play ...

5. "Beez in the Trap" - Nicki Minaj. This shiz goes hard. That's all I have to say about that.

So, as you can tell, I barely said anything about the songs, but like I said, I'm pretty busy. I wish I had  more influential songs to give, but I just haven't been writing lately. It's hard to get inspired when you have so much on your mind. Once Summer starts, I have a feeling songs will influence me a lot more. But anyway.

Peace out, and enjoy the music suggestions!

Currently

So, I believe I have ignored this for like a week, at least. But that's okay because there really wasn't much to say.

I wrote about 10 pages in the past week to my novel, which really isn't that great by my standards. That's about 1,500-ish words, I believe. I'm getting super close to the end, and I want to give it the best possible ending possible. I mean, I know how I want it to end, and that hasn't changed, but I really don't want it to feel "rushed," you know? I think that's the problem I'm having lately. It took forever to get to a specific spot, and then since then it's like all the action is progressing at an exponential pace from there. I might have to make some changes in the middle.

Sigh.

I'm watching Giada right now. She's making a lemon-type meal. Everything has lemon in it. I love lemon. Too much can be exhausting, however.

I don't really have much more to say. I've been pretty busy lately. Exams are coming up (next week!), and then the week after I have 2 more exams, but only on Monday. It's also my birthday this coming Saturday, so I'll be turning 21. That will be awesome. I just plan on going out to eat and drinking a bottle of wine.

Love me some wine.

How It Feels

So, this is it.

I am almost done with my first novel.

It's really been a humbling experience, to say the least. When I first started writing (and this was many, many years ago), I did it because I liked it. I never really thought about doing anything with my writing. I just wanted to do it because it was what made me happy, to sit there and write out the actions of these people that popped in my head.

It wasn't really until late middle school when I thought about actually writing for some sort of personal gain: to allow others to enjoy what I have enjoyed after all these years. And then in High School I entered my first contest, and from there I let others see my writing and look it over (I was extremely protective of my writing; I definitely don't like being told I suck, but who does? I guess I had to just suck it up).

But never in a million years did I really think I would finish something on this magnitude. Short stories, sure. Poetry, yeah. But a full-fledged 130,000-word novel?

Hell no.

But I'm glad I did.

To be honest, I'm scared. I'm scared of leaving these people behind that I love so much. I feel like I've been there to baby them through their trials and tribulations. I wrote down what I didn't want to happen, but I had to because it was the truth. I didn't want some people to die. I didn't want people to get hurt.

It's just so weird how people in your head became actual, live, sentient beings. I never planned on that happening. I never planned on all of this coming to fruition. It's just so strange to think that in a matter of two weeks or so, the first part of their story is done. And although, yes, there definitely is another story to be told with them, I think I need to leave them alone. It's another character's turn.

I'm going to miss them. They've become my family, my friends.

So yeah. It feels weird to know that soon they will be gone for a little while. But I'm happy to note that I'll definitely return to them. There is still so much to be told. There is something rotten in the state of Penigran (yes, that was a Hamlet reference).

As a writer, though, you are with these people for so long that it almost seems impossible to not feel some sort of loss. It's just . . . strange.

I hope that in the future you all will be able to feel what I am feeling for these characters. I hope that one day I become published and you read with your own eyes everything they have been through.

So. I guess . . . yeah. I'm done writing for the night. I want to put this off as much as possible lol. So to reading I go.

Book recommendations, soon. Also, my Songs of the Month post will probably be coming next week. Get ready. One of them I know for sure that's going on is a thumper.