Is It Really December?

No, seriously. It is?

Whoa.

So, anyway, I've been on a slow writing kick ... after I was doing SO well, too. But ah well. I haven't stopped writing it. I'm just being ... slow.

I made curry the other day for the first time ever. I had it once before at a restaurant and loved it, so I decided to make it myself. And you know what? It came out super good! I also made a cake yesterday, and pretty much it went downhill after I opened a bottle of wine and wanted ice cream.

Sort of a side-note type thing, but I like meeting cute people via the internet and then talking to them and realizing you like them even more. And yes, that was a run-on, but whatever. I don't care. Sigh. why do cute people have to be so far away?

My internet lately has been stupid, but finally it was fixed! I'm so happy!

I've been obsessed with Ke$ha's new album. Like, it's weird. I went through November being super excited about everyone's new albums and then realizing they were all let-downs. But this one, Warrior, is so worth it.  Everyone needs to check out "Gold Trans Am." I have designated that my "stripper song." Yes, let your imaginations run wild, young ones.

Anyway, off to the Netherlands. (Not really.)

November 12, 2012

I know, that is a really crappy title, but I'm feeling uncreative today, plus stressed.

I have a test tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to remember anything in microbiology ... it's like the world hates me: the micro world. I can't remember all the agars and what they do to same my life. The worst part is that my future job has no use for agar. WHY AM I LEARNING THIS THEN?!

Sorry. This class really upsets me.

Anyway, writing/reading. I started to do NaNoWriMo. I began on November 2nd and pushed out a good chunk of story. Currently it's day 12 (obviously), and no I'm about 3,500 words behind. I just have been really busy with studying for this micro test that, no matter what, I will get like an 80% on. Which isn't bad, but it's not really going to help my grade.

I really enjoy the NaNoWriMo story I created. One of the characters I created is awesome. Sort of reminds me of ... me. Haha. I've never really put myself into a story before, at least personality-wise, so it's nice to be able to not have to think hard about dialogue because it just flows naturally to me. It's the other main character giving me problems ... I have rarely any life experiences, and thus, I have to rely on instinct to write feelings. It's not the best, but I hope that if I finish this story (really banking on it), I can edit it to the right thing. Besides, this is definitely a first draft. Anyone that says they have an amazing first draft is kidding themselves.

I've been reading Cinda Williams Chima's new book in the Seven Realms Series. It's the last one, and I have about 150 pages more to go until it's done completely. I'm really sad. Sad face. Now I'm going to need a new series/book to keep me occupied. Especially for break. But hopefully I will just be able to write more. However, I've noticed that I seem to write best/more when I'm reading, so I guess for now on I have to simultaneously read and write.

Thanksgiving is coming up. Just thought I'd mention it.

And now I'm done. So, I have to finish some homework, and then I suppose I shall catch you all later. Granted, that's assuming I have readers. Oh, the joys of hoping and wishing.

Au revoir!

Progress

I just thought that I'd update everyone and say that I have made some progress on my new "Atlantis-inpsired story. I have two tests coming up (one today actually, the other tomorrow), and I really need to devote some time to studying for those, but I do hope to knock out a good 500 words today at least. I'm really liking one of the characters I created. At first he was going to be this one character that sort of just drives the plot forward, but then he sort of just became more and more prominent the more I wrote and suddenly everything I envisioned went out the window. I had to retool the whole story, which is okay because I like this new version much better. So ........... I guess that's it?

Listening to Taylor Swift. I know that's random, but I love this new album and everyone needs to buy it. Do it. No disappointment.

Songs of The Month - October 2012

So it's that time of the month where I list songs that influenced me at some point in my writing or that I just enjoyed. The last few times I did this they weren't really influential, more or less something really fun to listen to. But, alas, here I go.

1. "Paradise" - Lana Del Rey. This was supposed to be on her new Paradise Edition of Born to Die but for some reason it was cut. I found it on YouTube one day and loved it. Not really influential, but I love this woman. She's so dark and moody and puts me in a great frame of mind for dark settings. However, this song is ironically happy, so no mood-setting for me.

2. "22" - Taylor Swift. It's so fast and poppy and just .............. omg. I'm buying her album the moment it comes out on Monday. That's all there is to say about it.

3. "Atlantis" - Ellie Goulding. In case you didn't notice, but my last post was written due to this song. So for a more in-depth analysis, check out that posting.

4. "I Almost Do" - Taylor Swift. Yes, she is on this list twice. This song is also amazing. It reminds me of a character I am writing at this moment. The song is about a girl that really wants to call her ex and tell her that she still loves him, but she won't do it. At the same time, she wonders if he thinks about her and wants to still be with her. In other words, this is a song about pride. No one ones to be the one that goes back to an ex saying that they made the mistake. Yet, it is not a super-sad song. It's more ponderous. Still, it's not happy either.

5. "Curiosity" - Carly Rae Jepsen. Just a supper fun dance-y pop song. I like it. It's about someone who is curious to see if they will work out relationship-wise with someone they like. Not super deep, but fun to sing and dance to.

Atlantis

So last week Ellie Goulding released a new CD titled "Halcyon." It is an amazing CD and I think that everyone should give it a listen. It is filled with atmospheric vocals and ethereal sounds. There is definitely something for everyone.

I mention this because a highlight on that album is "Atlantis." You don't know this about me (however you will soon in about 4 seconds), but I have a miniature obsession with Atlantis.

Okay, a huge one.

Ever since I was young I have always imagined Atlantis existing, dreaming up wonderful dreams of a land below the waters where technology prospered and nature thrived in unique and strange ways.

But lately I have forgotten that. My mind delved into strange places that, although were interesting and something I enjoyed, they never seemed to give me the same excitement that I had had with Atlantis. It was as though my youth had been outgrown; by physiology this is certainly true, but to an extent an author never really grows up in the mind.

Upon hearing Ellie Goulding singing in such a high (almost indecipherable) voice, it is both evoking and beautiful.The words don't matter. It is the atmosphere the song creates, the beautiful build-up to the few lines that most everyone can understand: "where'd you go?"

And then it hit me: where did my youth go?

And then I realized it lay with the subject of the song: Atlantis.

It seems as though my creativity had been revived, simply by hearing this song. Sure, there were moments in the past few years where I was very happy with what I had written. There were characters that I loved to hate and hated to love, paragraphs and sentences that put a tear in my eye. But those times were far and few between, not like when I was in grade school when I would come home and immediately hop onto the computer to write everything I had thought about during the day: dragons and crystal caves, darkness and light, swords and shields. My mind was firing on all cylinders, incapable of being stopped unless physically forced from the computer chair.

Those moments are rare today. And it depresses me. I love writing. I love it with all of my heart. It brings me joy in days such as these when I can forget the world and go into my own that I created. But it's harder to find time like I used to. It's harder to imagine a new world when reality and its hassles has too much of a pull.

Atlantis has excited me much like it had when I was young. That doesn't mean that everything I write from now one will be about Atlantis. That would be strange, because I certainly do have other ideas that in no way could work there. But the song (and the following thoughts I had while listening to it) seemed to have re-energize my creativity in a way that I have not experienced in a long time.

So thank you, Ellie Goulding. I owe you the world.

My world.

New Story Excerpt

Hello, everyone! This is the beginning to the new story I have started writing that I incidentally figured out how to write it! So, I hope that you enjoy this small little snippet, and let me know! It's currently untitled. 

"They had been warned the portal was closing every time they entered it. They had been warned, and they chose to ignore it.

Jack and Lila had found it by mistake one evening as they stole out into the night, Jack without worry and Lila without a lamp. The forest was gloomy, intimidating, and Lila, ever since she was a little girl, was frightened of the dark.  Jack was on a foolish, ever-ongoing quest to prove his devotion to manhood. The two were youth personified, the sort of thing you find in stories about attraction and love, where two destined humans intertwine the Fates’ strings and become one strong polymer of adoration.

But everyone knows that the Fates not only made string, they cut them as well."  

So about how bad I am ...

I have no excuse for my absence other than the fact I suck at life.

Well, not really. But yeah. School kind of got in the way of a lot of things, and ... well, that is a good excuse, but still. I promise -- and this time I sincerely mean it! -- to get on more and post more things. 

I was recently inspired by an Ellie Goulding song this week (more precisely, yesterday) and thus, I have been thrust back into the clutches of writing. It's a strange new style for me. It started off as a short story, and somehow I now think it is developing into a novella, which will probably make its way into a full-time book at some point. 

I'm considering starting to map things out now. Like, book-wise. Chapters, characters, etc. It might help me and keep me on track. Sometimes I just ... forget things. And if I seriously take a good 30 minutes or an hour to think about my story, I might resolve plots that I usually push aside and say I'll take care of when I get there. 

As in the case with this new story I'm writing (I sort of actually have two going actively, three if you want to count another one that I started but randomly stopped because I couldn't plan it right), I can't seem to get it JUST right. It's almost good. I can sense it has potential. But I feel like now I need to go back a little bit from where I started, or expand the scene out a little. I don't know. I'm still thinking about it.

As for the other story that I'm seriously considering about tackling next, I have to map out a whole continent and name cities and stuff. Any time I write in a place that is not Earth (which is usually 90% of the time), I do that before I get 2 or 3 chapters in. It helps me understand where I am.

Anyway, I am going to head out writing right now actually, so wish me luck and I will see you soon about my next topic, which will be about the song "Atlantis." I feel like I need to explain it.

Tyler

New Story Excerpt -- The Fall

It happened without warning. 

One moment a woman pushing her baby stroller was smiling at her friend walking beside her, the next they both lay on the cement as a car heading straight for them sped up with no intention of slowing down. A red-headed man talking on his cell phone collapsed, and without another word he lied still. A young girl two paces ahead of me fell face-first into the pavement. A motorcycle zipped through the intersection and crashed through the store-front window.

                

 This all happened mid-sip of my mocha. The coffee scalded my tongue as it sat in my mouth for too long, unable to swallow out of paralysis of the events conspiring around me. It was as though everyone was controlled by a hypnotist and he had snapped his fingers, bringing everyone into a deep sleep.

               

 Everyone but me.

               

 The sound of a plane whistled in the sky above me, and I looked up to see the metallic figure ripping through the air at speeds almost incapable of following. A stream of clouds trailed the bottom, and it was then I realized the plane was emitting something. Smoke? Was it about to crash? The smoke – or whatever it was – fell like snow to the ground.

I looked left. Then right. Again, both ways, then behind and ahead.  Something was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. 

I tried to deny it at first, but then panic set in.

I dropped my coffee and I ran.

I needed to know if there were others, others like me that were panicking and running. To where, I had no idea, but somewhere, anywhere but here. But each body I passed was proof, another piece to the puzzle to verify that what I had just witnessed was real and not a dream.

I turned down an alley, leaned against a worn brick building and, for the first time in three years since my father died, cried.

I did not hear anyone approach until a hand grabbed my peacoat’s collar and pulled me from the ground. He was older than I, mid-twenties perhaps, short raven hair that matched his plain black t-shirt tucked fittingly into his black cargo pants. So much black, I could have mistaken him for Death. I did not know how accurate that comparison was until later.

 The man brought his wristwatch up to his mouth. He said into it, “Found one. Male. Late teen, early adult.”

The watch responded with a drawl, “Bring him in.”

 That was all that needed to be said. “You’re coming with me.” He grabbed my arm, holding it tightly as though he wished to snap either my radius or ulna in two.

“Hey, let me go!” The pain ran up my arm and into the whole of my body.

“You need to come with us for your own protection.”

“I’ll go! You don’t have to drag me!”

He didn’t respond, nor did he let go.

I heard screams.

As we turned the corner, there were other men like this guy – all dressed in black from head to toe – dragging others like myself past piles of bodies. Some were hysterical, the sudden deaths of those around them causing them to lose it all. I only just realized how almost completely sane I was. A vehicle that looked almost like a tank by design but without the turret and gun sat in the middle of the street, the track it used for movement carelessly crushing corpses. A large door leading into the back of the vehicle slammed down to reveal others in chains. The light blinded them for a moment, and then they madly tried to break the restraints that held them in place.

Protection never looked so frightening.

And if this was protection, then I did not want to be protected.

I heard an odd zipping noise. My arm no longer felt crushed, and the man holding me suddenly slumped to the ground. Red liquid that could only be blood oozed from an unexpected hole in his neck.

               

 “If you want to live, I’d come this way.”

               

 My instinct guided my sight back into the alley, and a man with earth-colored but graying hair motioned for me with his fingers. In one of his hands was a handgun.

               

 If there was one thing I had ever learned from television – state approved television, that is – it is to never say “no” to a man with a gun.

Break

Sorry, everyone. I've been a bad blog poster for ... well, since ever. I'll be posting something in the next 10 seconds though I have just started to work on. I was going to use it for NaNoWriMo, but I got too anxious and just started it anyway. I'm sure something else will come up for NaNoWriMo, or I'll just use the cheater's way and continue with this story or another for it.

I know; I'm so bad.

Songs of the Month - July

Yup, it's the time of the year again! I just started to get in the swing of writing, so I have perhaps a few new inspirational songs and a few "just for the fun of it" songs. Enjoy and tell me if you like them!

1. "Primadonna" - Marina and the Diamonds. Fun story to this song: I just found it yesterday. It's addicting. I love the dirty synths in the background. Just something easy and fun to dance along with. The lyrics are pretty interesting, too.

2. "Lemonade" - Alexandra Stan. Another "for the fun of it song." I looooooove it with a passion that is immeasurable. Nothing else to really say. Just listen to it. It's a fun summer ditty.

3. "This Love (Will Be Your Downfall)" - Ellie Goulding. Yup, this is my first inspirational song. I so far haven't written this part of the story, but it certainly is coming :)

4. "To a Poet" - First Aid Kit. Just a highly emotional song about lost love and being lonely. You know, stereotypical stuff that inspires every heartache.

5. "As Long as You Love Me" - Justin Bieber. Quiet. I know what you all are thinking, but guess what? It's a good song.

July 9th

Hello, everyone!

I have been quite busy lately. I feel like I say that every time I type on here haha. But it's true.

I have been hard at work on my new story. I hope to release a snippet on it soon, perhaps. I really enjoy writing it. This past week was the 4th of July, so I didn't really write much. I hope to get back into it tomorrow. I did a little bit of writing on other stuff today. That was interesting.

I started to help someone edit her novel. I enjoy it right now. I like editing, too.

My wine froze. I know that that is a pretty random statement, but I felt like I had to say it. Cry.

I'm currently reading "City at the End of Time" by Greg Bear. It's pretty decent. But I can only seem to read like 20 pages at a time. I don't know why, especially considering it is not the worst book I have ever read. I just can't seem to get past more than that. It's not the book doing it to me. It's me. I just haven't been in the reading mood lately, I guess.

Hmmmm. Well, class tomorrow at 9 and then lab at 1:30 where I get to draw blood. That shall be fun. Woohoo.

Well, I'm off to watch more Masterchef, and then I'm going to read more (hopefully more than 20 pages ...) and off to bed for me! It doesn't seem like it is going to be very hot tonight, but I suppose I'll have the fan on. 

I'm aware

I'm quite aware that I'm really bad at keeping up with my blog posts. It's been a strange, hectic June though, so forgive me.

I promise to get on it soon. A new class starts this Thursday, and another ends soon, so I'll have more time to write when it is over.

I started to work on a new story, actually. I really like this one. I say that about a lot of new stuff I start, though. It took me about 4 tries to get the beginning right. I hope that it starts to pick up soon and I can just crank it out before the end of the year, perhaps get to page 100 by the end of the summer. Stay with me, folks.

I'll do my usual Month of Music post within the week. Nothing new has really come out except for Justin Bieber stuff, and I'm quite sure no ones wants me to post that, haha.

Check ya'll out later.

May 29th

I feel like I'm back in the swing of things. Finally. After going through some weird sort of lull. I've been reading on a regular basis, and I've been writing on a regular basis.

The only issue is that my "writing on a regular basis" is still rather slow. Well, at least slower than what I'd like it to be. That's not to say that perhaps a page a day isn't progress (heck, I have about 50ish more pages to go and then I'll be done), but it's slower than what I'd like.

I'm really excited to finally be done with this novel. That's not to say I don't enjoy it one bit. It's just that I'm ready now to move on. I mean, I know that I said about a month ago I wasn't ready and I wanted it to last forever - and that is technically true - but what I really meant to say was that I just need a break. Of course I want to come back. I created one of the most bad-ass characters I've ever constructed before. To just leave that character behind would be ... well, it's inhumane!

I'm not really sure what story I'll go on to next. I'm thinking about getting back to the story I started earlier and then stopped because I couldn't work it out right. I'll have to think hard about the tweaks to get it right. That was my problem. I was much more invested in my Airilie story than I was in that one. I didn't really think all that much about tweaking it.

Somewhere in there I'm going to do some revision to my Airilie story as well. About a month ago I realized that one part didn't really pan out how it was envisioned, so it has to be changed. Trust me, this revision will make a lot more sense than what I have written now.

Speaking about revisions: I definitely need someone to read through it. I had someone, but she definitely hasn't really done anything. I hope she can start working on it soon.

Well. I think I am off to read and then tomorrow it will definitely be a writing day. I'm really excited. I'm super close to the apex of the rising action. Yay.

I Know, I Know ...

I haven't posted in a very long time. Over two weeks. Don't blame me. I had my break, and that was quite a bit of fun. And then I recently returned to my school and I just have been relaxing a bit and playing some video games.

That doesn't really help the writing front, does it? I took a small break from writing, but I plan on getting back into it tomorrow. I tweeted the other day that I can't really write unless I'm inspired to write. I mean, sure, I could attempt to write something when I don't exactly feel like writing, but it would come out so god awful that it's like, "why did I even bother?" So, I just don't write. I read that when most authors give advice, the main thing they say is to write everyday. You can't tell me that they literally don't go ONE day without putting pen to paper. Besides, quite a few authors I have read actually have taken "days off." It's not like I'm not constantly tortured by my characters to write some more. I'm constantly formulating ideas, or they are coming to me, or what have you. I just don't scribe them down.

While I'm thinking about it -- and this is a huge tangent, might I add,(but it's relevant because I mentioned not writing something down) -- every author, I think, has this horror story of the "story that got away." It truly does suck to think of this kick-ass story, idea, character, event, blah blah blah and then think to yourself, "Oh, I'll just remember it and write it down later." And then later comes, or it's nighttime, or you wake up in the morning because you thought about it at night and you didn't want to be bothered by getting up and writing it down, and you simply CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. And what sucks even more is having the same feeling of the thing being awesome, but you don't know what it is. So then you get upset, maybe even depressed, and you try to remember it, you strain real hard, but finally you give up.

... I just spent like 20 minutes doing something else and now I lost my place and don't remember what I was talking about.

Well, I am going to go read now until I fall asleep. I feel a headache coming on, and it's usually indicative of, well, a headache.

Check out "Grave Mercy" by R. L. LaFevers. It's pretty decent so far. I'm about 120 pages in.

By ya'll.

FREE

I am officially done with classes/exams for the Winter semester. It makes me feel ... I don't know, rather amazing. I learned a lot this semester, but I feel like it just dragged on after awhile. I'm itching to finally get out there and be free for a bit. Yes, I do still have summer classes, but they shouldn't take up all my time. It's only 6 credits.

Watch that be the very last thing I ever say, and then fail everything.

I'm happy to get back into writing. I know I said that I was going to start the other novel whose prologue I posted the other day, but the more I think about it and try to develop it, the more I realize I have hit a snag in my thought process. I'd be more than happy to actually tell you all what it is, but then again, what if it gets published? That would ruin the fun for all of you guys, wouldn't it? So now I need to just find a friend or someone that actually wants to read my work and explain to them my little conundrum. How do I solve a problem like Maria?

That was a "Sound of Music" reference, for your information.

I think tonight I'm going to watch "West Side Story." I bought it about a week ago, but I just never got around to actually watching it. Well, I did watch it, but I wasn't technically "watching" it.

... That probably makes no sense to you guys, but whatever.

I guess when I say that I'm "done," I don't actually mean that I'm done. I have to tweak a small thing or two on my final for one of my classes that I have to email to the professor. I think he actually wants me to give it to him in person, but I'm not sure I really want to get up and out of the confines of my apartment to give him my stuff. Besides, it wastes paper for something he's just going to end up throwing away anyway, right?! Right.

Okay, well I think I am going out to have an early dinner, because I didn't have anything for lunch at all today minus like 10 triscuit crackers, and those never last me long. Plus I had two cups of coffee, and coffee does not sit well in my stomach without something to eat in there as well. I should also take out the trash as well. I dislike taking it out. But, my apartment must look somewhat presentable by the time I leave tomorrow.

So. Au revoir and all that good stuff.

Prologue For a New Story

The following is a prologue for a story that I have had in my head now for like a month. I had some free time last night, so I just decided to write it while I could. This is going to be my next main story to tackle after I finish the "Airilie" novel, forgoing the space opera novel I posted beforehand. I'll probably get back around to it, but I feel like I've developed this story more, and thus, I am more inclined to write it. Note: any named or places or sentences or words and practically anything written beyond this point is subject to change. Also, keep in mind that this is a rough draft. Like, I didn't even go through it to edit it for horrible grammar or spelling. Let me know what you think and if I should continue it! What do you like, dislike? I know it's only like a page, but any form of criticism helps. More importantly, enjoy!!!

Prologue

                Lord Avery brought the glass to his lips and tipped the wine into his mouth. He normally did not drink, but he couldn’t help but feel that something bad was going to happen, and alcohol was the only thing he could think of to calm himself. Perhaps it was intuition or a calling from the divine, but something tore at his heart in previously unknown ways. Whenever he got a good look at the king, he felt something rip inside, but he did not know what. The king would smile at him, and Lord Avery would force one back.

                He kept to the cloisters in the castle, praying at the altar as much as he could. His white robe, made of thick material that kept him well insulated to the cold, barren months of the current winter, also made use as a kneepad. For as much as he knelt, he was surprised that his knees were not more tore up. He was older now, not the young pupil of god that King Calwy found him as. His body could only take so much.

                There was a slam in the distance behind him and the cacophony of hurried steps up a staircase, which cause Lord Avery to groan. His concentration had been broken. “I thought I said to not bother me. . . .” he mumbled to himself. One of the other added perks of being older – and perhaps also being the highest adviser in the kingdom – was that he was able to speak his mind about absolutely anything. This caused his thoughts to become words more often than not.

                Another slam, and then this time the heavy click of boats on the pure marble floors.

                “Your Grace,” said the owner of the boots, a deep voice that seemed abnormally rushed. “Your Grace, there has been an accident.”

                Lord Avery’s heart skipped a beat. “I knew there was something,” he mumbled to himself. He pushed himself off the floor and turned to view the man, a guard that was much taller than he, which was not all that hard to be. A visor in his helmet blocked most of his physical features, but the guard was clearly on edge by the way he was standing. “What is it, my boy? Speak! Out with whatever devils there may be!”

                The guard pulled off his helmet, revealing his ruffled short blonde hair, dirtied by grime and sweat. He bowed, eyes closed: shame. “The King . . . he lies in his chamber, dead.”

                “No.” That was all the old Lord could muster.

                “I . . . I could not bear to lie to you.” The guard swallowed hard.

                “What was the cause?” inquired Lord Avery.

                “By his bedside was a man bearing the insignia of the Frenlin’s. In his hand was a dagger.”

                There was nothing more to be said. So it was murder.

                “Where is this man now? In custody, I presume?”

                The guard nodded. “Yes. He was brought down to the dungeons. He hasn’t said a word since being brought there. Will you join them shortly for the torture?”

                “You know I don’t approve of such methods,” said Lord Avery matter-of-factly. “He will come to terms with himself and explain all in due course. The people will want revenge for the loss of their king, however. And of course a quick succession of power. Is Prince Ephraim awake? He must be approved by the Holy One tonight.” That means through me, he added in thought.

                “Captain Merda was sent to him. He should be awake by now and they will be on their way.”

                “Then I must prepare for the ceremony. Go. Thank you for your information.” He shooed the man away and then, when all was quiet except the airy whispers of the wind, he knelt one more in front of the altar.

“Holy One, my god Azramite, give me strength,” he whispered.

A soft twist of air answered him back.

Songs of the Month - April 2012

It's the time of the year again! I'm rather busy, so this one isn't going to be as detailed oriented as I'd have liked it to be, but I guess my like 3 followers will have to deal with it. Sorry, dudes.

1. "Elle Me Dit" - Mika. OMG. This song is my new addiction. At first I was like, "okay, this is a decent song." And now I find myself in my car just replaying it over and over. I used to speak a decent amount of French, so I can kinda tell what he's singing about and can somewhat sing along, but Mika does too much voice inflection stuff that it's hard to hear what he's saying. Anyway, this is just a fun little ditty.

2. "Lights Out" - Natalia Kills. This is another party song. It's fun to listen to and just kinda sing along to. I like Natalia Kills. This is the direction she needs to head in.

3. "212" - Azealia Banks. This is just a super dirty song. Like ... you have no idea. Once again, not really an inspirational song, but jut something to listen to. I don't think I have an inspiration songs this month, only because I just haven't done much writing.

4. "Glad You Came" - The Wanted. Okay, so I used to hate this song. Like, you have no idea how much I just wanted this song to die a horrible death. But then I started to listen to it more, and now I can't help my admit that I rather like it. Good play, The Wanted. Good play ...

5. "Beez in the Trap" - Nicki Minaj. This shiz goes hard. That's all I have to say about that.

So, as you can tell, I barely said anything about the songs, but like I said, I'm pretty busy. I wish I had  more influential songs to give, but I just haven't been writing lately. It's hard to get inspired when you have so much on your mind. Once Summer starts, I have a feeling songs will influence me a lot more. But anyway.

Peace out, and enjoy the music suggestions!

Currently

So, I believe I have ignored this for like a week, at least. But that's okay because there really wasn't much to say.

I wrote about 10 pages in the past week to my novel, which really isn't that great by my standards. That's about 1,500-ish words, I believe. I'm getting super close to the end, and I want to give it the best possible ending possible. I mean, I know how I want it to end, and that hasn't changed, but I really don't want it to feel "rushed," you know? I think that's the problem I'm having lately. It took forever to get to a specific spot, and then since then it's like all the action is progressing at an exponential pace from there. I might have to make some changes in the middle.

Sigh.

I'm watching Giada right now. She's making a lemon-type meal. Everything has lemon in it. I love lemon. Too much can be exhausting, however.

I don't really have much more to say. I've been pretty busy lately. Exams are coming up (next week!), and then the week after I have 2 more exams, but only on Monday. It's also my birthday this coming Saturday, so I'll be turning 21. That will be awesome. I just plan on going out to eat and drinking a bottle of wine.

Love me some wine.

How It Feels

So, this is it.

I am almost done with my first novel.

It's really been a humbling experience, to say the least. When I first started writing (and this was many, many years ago), I did it because I liked it. I never really thought about doing anything with my writing. I just wanted to do it because it was what made me happy, to sit there and write out the actions of these people that popped in my head.

It wasn't really until late middle school when I thought about actually writing for some sort of personal gain: to allow others to enjoy what I have enjoyed after all these years. And then in High School I entered my first contest, and from there I let others see my writing and look it over (I was extremely protective of my writing; I definitely don't like being told I suck, but who does? I guess I had to just suck it up).

But never in a million years did I really think I would finish something on this magnitude. Short stories, sure. Poetry, yeah. But a full-fledged 130,000-word novel?

Hell no.

But I'm glad I did.

To be honest, I'm scared. I'm scared of leaving these people behind that I love so much. I feel like I've been there to baby them through their trials and tribulations. I wrote down what I didn't want to happen, but I had to because it was the truth. I didn't want some people to die. I didn't want people to get hurt.

It's just so weird how people in your head became actual, live, sentient beings. I never planned on that happening. I never planned on all of this coming to fruition. It's just so strange to think that in a matter of two weeks or so, the first part of their story is done. And although, yes, there definitely is another story to be told with them, I think I need to leave them alone. It's another character's turn.

I'm going to miss them. They've become my family, my friends.

So yeah. It feels weird to know that soon they will be gone for a little while. But I'm happy to note that I'll definitely return to them. There is still so much to be told. There is something rotten in the state of Penigran (yes, that was a Hamlet reference).

As a writer, though, you are with these people for so long that it almost seems impossible to not feel some sort of loss. It's just . . . strange.

I hope that in the future you all will be able to feel what I am feeling for these characters. I hope that one day I become published and you read with your own eyes everything they have been through.

So. I guess . . . yeah. I'm done writing for the night. I want to put this off as much as possible lol. So to reading I go.

Book recommendations, soon. Also, my Songs of the Month post will probably be coming next week. Get ready. One of them I know for sure that's going on is a thumper.

April Fool's Day

I feel like every single "holiday" that comes about, I'm complaining about it.

I HATE APRIL FOOL'S DAY.

Why, you might ask?

I'm actually a pretty loose sort of guy. I never really take a lot of things seriously, and I love to joke around. In fact, a lot of people tell me that my jokes are a cover-up for my true feelings (I know, the internet isn't my therapist, so I won't go into too much detail . . . lol moment).

But when I sit there and go through everything on twitter and see articles from "respected" news sites and expect some mind-bending discovery only to find out they are fake, I lose my stuff.

It's like I'm the most serious on the one day of the year where you are supposed to be the least serious. I can only take so many jokes before I want to kill someone.

I jest. But seriously.

So, if you play a joke on me, I will probably hate you for the rest of the day. Just a warning.

Claire's Quote

"Well if it's not safe for me, then it's not safe for you, either."

This quote is said by Claire, one of the main characters' sister. For some reason I find this quote to be really . . . profound. It wasn't mean to be until I just read it to myself, and I realized that it applied to everything these two characters have been through. Just sort of wanted to share it with everyone.

Why I Write

I guess a lot of authors or writers are asked that question from time to time, why they write.  The answer is pretty simple: I like to write. But it also goes a lot deeper than that.

I've been writing a lot . . . I've always had this great imagination (well, at least from what I've been told. Compared to others, I feel like I'm still living in a box) and wanted to explore the worlds I've made up in my head.

But also, I like to read. I like to become immersed in what somebody else made up. The problem with that, however, is that no one is writing what I want to read anymore.

It used to be so simple and great. I could pick up most any book and love it from the get-go. But now as I'm older, I find that I can't seem to find that "perfect book." Perhaps I need to not be so fickle. But it's like every time I go to the bookstore, I keep pouring through all these books that just don't seem to have what I want. Whatever happened to adventure/fantasy novels that weren't all about war? I hate reading about war. Some is okay; I mean, you can't have a good fantasy without a little war. But when all you do is just thrust the main character into a battlefield and call it a book?

Ugh.

And then there are all these books that try to teach a lesson. Listen, when I read fantasy or sci-fi, I don't want a lesson. I just want to be entertained. So many books now try to take themselves so seriously.

And please do not get me started on paranormal romance novels. 

So, one day, searching through all those books and, once again, not being satisfied, I decided that I needed to do something. I wanted to write what I wanted to read.

That does not mean that what I write does not have some sort of underlying moral or theme. But when I write, I write to tell a story. A fun story. A story that does not need massive explaining. Something that is fun and light and captures your attention with a fair amount of adventure and perhaps even passion. I don't want to try to get everyone to think about implications. I want to entertain and have everyone be excited for a character, or gasp over an action. I want to pull someone into my world. If someone can pull out a moral or two, then that is perfect; by all means, please. I try to make the characters as real as possible, and a book can not be a book without some sort of theme beneath it all. But listen: when I write, the story and the characters are what matter to me; themes and morals come second.

I'm just sick of the sad state of books out there. I find barely anything worth reading anymore, and it's upsetting as a writer to want to read something, but can't find anything remotely interesting. I don't know what changed in fantasy and sci-fi, but it's in a general direction that frankly, I'm disappointed it went in. I'm not trying to change fantasy as we know it. I'm just trying to put something out there that I myself am missing. And if you guys all are too, then what's not to say more books like what I'm attempting to write will be produced?

A Writer's Thoughts

So today I was thinking today about how I'm super close to finishing my first novel. It's been quite an experience, to say the least. After this, I know that I have major, major editing work. Then starts another story, which I just imagined this past weekend on my drive home (I'm pretty excited to start it, so now I'm excited to push with my first). Then after that, I have no idea. I'm still super infatuated with my "Airilie" kingdom. I definitely want to come back to it. Like I stated in one of my previous posts, I had this one idea for this series, and that this first novel was more or less the start/catalyst type novel for the main attraction, a la "The Hobbit."

Anyway, I won't say too much more, because a lot of what I'm thinking is pretty preemptive. I could change my ideas tomorrow. I want to get back into writing super soon, but sadly homework is starting to put its cold grasp on me. I have this huge assignment due this Friday that I haven't really worked on. Ugh.

I'm pretty excited about the fact that I don't need surgery now. That means I can be on track with my program! It's pretty awesome, to say the least.

Well, I didn't really have much more to say. I guess I just wanted to blog so I don't forget about this thing.

Songs of the Month - March 2012

So today I was sitting here, thinking about something I could blog about (because I just absolutely enjoy putting off my homework until the last minute), and I thought of a decent idea, something that will carry over from month to month.

Music has a huge inspiration on my writing. It's one of those things that makes me think of new ideas and characters and events. From the moment I wake up to the time I fall back asleep, there is not one moment when a song is not running through my head.

so, I have decided that I will lost about 5-ish songs once a month that either I am crazy for at the moment, or have influenced me at some point. This may be brand new songs that have just came out, or it could be a song from the 1920s. Who knows, who cares?

A lot of authors like to put in a "playlist" of things they listen to. Frankly, I'm upset that it hasn't happened sooner. Music is an inspiration to everyone, and if you say it's not, you are kidding yourself.

What I'm going to do is list the songs and then give a small explanation about them (aka why I like it, what it did for me, etc.).

Without further adieu, here are the songs:

1. "Masterpiece" - Madonna. Not really an inspirational song for me, but it's just a super pretty song that sets a great tone. It won an award (the one it won escapes me at the moment). Classic Madonna, it's sure to be a crowd-pleaser when "MDNA" comes out later this week.

2. "Birthday Cake" - Rihanna ft. Chris Brown. Yeah, I know, a lot of people really hate the fact that they collaborated, but I have to say, this is a gritty, gritty song to get down to. I could probably dance to it all night, and I can't tell you how many "cake cake cake" references I've made since this came out last month.

3. "Crystallize" - Lindsey Stirling. This is probably one of the most epic songs I have ever heard (well, not EVER, but lately). It's just a straight up violin with backdrops of wub-wub dubstep. Such beauty with such grit ... it's like a character. It just goes to show you that not everything is black and white. Would YOU have ever expected the two together? I think not, sirs and madams.

4. "Never Grow Up" - Taylor Swift. This reminds me of a few of my characters. I won't go into too much detail, but it definitely has to do with growing up (shocker). It's probably not as cute and simple as what T-Swizzle coos about, but it's definitely along the same lines.

5. "Blue Jeans" - Lana Del Rey. Pure darkness. That is all. If I focused on love and lost relationships and crazy people in my "Airilie" story more, this would be my go-to song. But as it were, I don't. Instead, this has inspired a shorter story of mine. I tend to write short stories that are character pieces, and then my novels are definitely more story-driven. Anyway, hopefully I get to that story ...

So, that's it! I hope that everyone checks out these songs and finds something that they like! Since this is my first one, everyone will probably think I'm this "pop" kind-of guy, but that's not entirely true. Give me like 3 or 4 of these things, and then you'll get a good sense of what I like (hint: it's everything that ever existed). Let me know what you think of the songs. Comment below. Promise I'll respond back. Like I said, I don't bite ... hard.

Vliar Excerpt

 Here is an excerpt from my "Airilie" novel. This is probably one of the most visceral things I've ever written. Comments and thoughts?      

"Suddenly he thrust forth and was atop Flynn, who was kicking and screaming – begging. But there was a ripping sound, and suddenly he was silenced and the entrails of his throat were displaced and thrown aside. Mad with an unexpected rage that shot up from the very core, Vliar couldn’t stop himself as he continued to tear at the helpless man – a man that had now become a corpse. And there it was, after digging and scooping and dirtying his hands with crimson, his prize, the curse and affliction that was his plague: the heart. The hunger he had quelled for what seemed like an eternity burst from his stomach upwards until he was salivating. Was this why he had kept hearing the heartbeat? It seemed so natural, so instinctive to eviscerate this body and retrieve the life-giving organ. It was nourishment for the soul – no, he had no soul now; it was nourishment for the body and the body only.  And as he ate it, quashed the meat in his mouth, ecstasy like a star burst rushed through his body as though it was the blood he no longer had coursing through his veins. He felt alive.

 Corpron stood there, too shocked to move. He wanted desperately to pull out his sword, restore balance, order to the scene before him, but such primal blood-lust froze him with fear.

And then Vliar, too, looked down upon the body – his victim – and the primal instinct embedded within his brain was replaced with reasoning. His eyes widened. Horror pulsed through him, replacing the ecstasy. His hands were coated with sweltering red guilt. He cowered away from the body on all fours, sliding to the corner of the room. Rocking back and forth, he muttered strange syllables, the likes Corpron had never heard before. And then something coherent: “Save me, Corpron. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

But it was all too late, for then Corpron became the next victim in a string of unforgivable transformations and deaths that tore away at the very foundations of humanity."

March 19th and other things

So, today is one of those days when you are so bored that you find a new hobby or something. And I can't find a new hobby, so instead I write a blog post.

Like I said, I have nothing going on in my life.

Well, tomorrow I have a DMol meeting with the counselor person. I will talk to him/her and see what I can do if I have this surgery this summer (which is pretty much a given that I will). I will be double majoring (I think I mentioned that already), but I don't know what other degree to get. Plus, I'd have to do speech, and I will kill myself if I have to take another speech class. I seriously hate speech with a passion. It might even be the only reason I DON'T do a double major. Yeah.

Let's seeeee ...

Oh, writing. I plan on doing that today as well. I have been a little caught up with some things (like the prospect of surgery as well schooling and, shamefully, pokemon tower defense) to get on that. But I promised myself today I will. I mean, I even did homework waaaaaaay ahead of time!!! That's not like me at all. I really, really, really, really want to get done with this Airilie story and get to the next "chapter" of it, so to speak. Can't wait for what's in store. Also, definitely have to fine tune some things, but I have a friend currently working on that. Her input is golden. Hope she's gotten a little further in the correction process.

Reading: I'm currently reading a book called "The End of Alice" for my class. It's rather disturbing, and fairly interesting. I'd recommend it, but it's definitely not for the faint of heart.

Not sure what else to say. Like I said, not much going on right at this moment. Well, off to procrastinate, collect my thoughts, and then begin writing. Perhaps I'll post a cool little excerpt later. I haven't done that in a very, very long time. Well, 2 weeks. But still.

St. Patrick's Day

Let me start this blog off right: I HATE St. Patrick's Day.

Yup. You read that right. And no, my language was not harsh. I could go a lot harsher, but I reserve that for my birthday, which holds a special place of complete contempt in my heart.

"Why?" might you say. "Why hate this holiday?"

Because of pricks, that's why.

Yes, I'm Irish, but by a small margin that seriously might not even be considered Irish at all. I am more middle European (from Bohemia, and if you don't know what that is, think gypsy country, but now extinct), with some northern such as Denmark and Sweden (I take pride in the Swedish part). But yes, there is some Irish in there. In fact, I believe that I am like most people in America. Most Americans (and I do generalize quite a bit, because I just know that someone is going to hit me back with a statistic on how only 40% of Americans are actually part Irish and blah blah blah go awaaaay), are only a small part of Irish. I don't think I've yet met someone who was 50% or more Irish. This holiday is supposed to be for people who have Irish heritage. And yes, even though you do have SOME Irish in you, in my eyes, it's not really enough to be considered Irish.

Hell, do any of you people actually know what St. Patrick's Day is all about? It was about how a man (shockingly named St. Patrick) brought Christianity to Ireland.

I bet there are some atheists out there freaking out now and trying to take off their green. Or they're too drunk to do it.

Fun facts about St. Patrick: the legend goes that he banished snakes from Ireland while on a fast. He also used the shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity (which is why the shamrock is a symbol for this day; previously, however, it was a pagan symbol in early Ireland that represented immortality/eternal life). AND he also spoke with ancestral warriors who could not have possibly been still living.

Bet you guys didn't know that, huh?

Want to know why you guys don't know that? This is the part that really gets me.

BECAUSE EVERYONE TURNED IT INTO A TIME WHERE ALL YOU DO IS GET DRUNK.

There is no praising St. Patrick and his accomplishments, and if there is, then it's in a drunken stupor to say, "hey man, thanks for this wonderful day of beer where it's beer and beer and socially beer acceptable to drink beer ... beer."

No. Just no.

See, the problem is is that I'm not really just analyzing St. Patrick's Day as well. I'm lamenting the sad state of all holidays. They have been overly commercialized and have far strayed from their original meanings.

Go ahead; get drunk. Just understand WHY you are instead of just doing it because you can. In all honesty, today IS supposed to be a day of celebration (per the Catholic religion dictates). I just don't find it acceptable to do so without actually understanding the history and reasoning. Especially if you aren't Irish. That's what really irks me: not being Irish and "celebrating" just because you can. Or people that are all like, "Man, I'm sooooo Irish" and it's like, yeah, you are, but only 5%, and when else do ever mention your Irish heritage except for today?

And while I'm thinking about it, what's with the people that always ask: "Why aren't you wearing green?" and then they poke you, or pinch you, or whatever the stupid "punishment" is. Uhm, maybe because I'm not Irish? (Like I said, I am, but there are lots of people who aren't, so why would they be forced to wear green? Think about it.)

 And then last night I was talking to a friend, and she said, "I'm getting a whole bunch of alcohol right now for the special occasion. Preparation. It beings." And I asked: "For what?" And she as like "St. Patrick's Day tomorrow! Omg how did you not know that?"

... Seriously? You're going to inquire as to why I don't know what day it is tomorrow when all you are going to do is tell me about how you are going to abuse alcohol for a holiday that you have no idea why you are actually celebrating?

Please.

So, the point of this is to not be a downer. I'm all for a party and celebration and what not. But it's for the right reasons, not this crappy over-commercialization aspect.